Native Princess

This blog is an entirely truthful look into the exciting, daring, adventurous and mysterious life of The Tyler James Mechem.



I’m currently on a red-eye flight back from the black continent.  For the past 27 days I was reseaching the Mobukubazi tribe’s Sub-Saharan hunting patterns.  Breathtaking.  We made shivs and woodwind instruments out of zebra bones and goat horns.   However, I fell into fisticuffs with the tribe leader on the first night after a long and fruitless day of hunting.  I was banished without food, shelter or water until I rescued a baby from a cobra in a tree.  Low and behold, it was the tribemaster’s first born son… ‘Tyler’.  On the 14th night when I was meditating before my first attempt to walk across a bed of hot coals, I was attacked, ironically, by fire ants.  I awoke in a haze the next morning floating down a river on a wooden raft draped in a traditional African funeral cloak — the villagers said I was misdiagnosed by the medicine man.  He is old, very old.  I forgave him.  On the last day we errected an African ‘totem pole’ style edifice recognizing my courage.  I think they just felt bad for me.  Before I left I packed a few quarts of quicksand to make counterfeit hourglasses with.

When I get back I home need to go shopping for new Birkenstocks.

Well, I hope to amass millions of followers on this blog and then exploit my popularity to sell advertisements.

Tanks & guns,



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