This blog is an entirely truthful look into the exciting, daring, adventurous and mysterious life of The Tyler James Mechem.
I’m currently on a red-eye flight back from the black continent. For the past 27 days I was reseaching the Mobukubazi tribe’s Sub-Saharan hunting patterns. Breathtaking. We made shivs and woodwind instruments out of zebra bones and goat horns. However, I fell into fisticuffs with the tribe leader on the first night after a long and fruitless day of hunting. I was banished without food, shelter or water until I rescued a baby from a cobra in a tree. Low and behold, it was the tribemaster’s first born son… ‘Tyler’. On the 14th night when I was meditating before my first attempt to walk across a bed of hot coals, I was attacked, ironically, by fire ants. I awoke in a haze the next morning floating down a river on a wooden raft draped in a traditional African funeral cloak — the villagers said I was misdiagnosed by the medicine man. He is old, very old. I forgave him. On the last day we errected an African ‘totem pole’ style edifice recognizing my courage. I think they just felt bad for me. Before I left I packed a few quarts of quicksand to make counterfeit hourglasses with.
When I get back I home need to go shopping for new Birkenstocks.
Well, I hope to amass millions of followers on this blog and then exploit my popularity to sell advertisements.
Tanks & guns,